Citizen

I created this blog over ten years ago when I was in a different part of my life. I made up the name for the blog out of my sense that I'm just one person out of billions on this planet of ours. I've lowered the number periodically as I've aged. 

But now I'm a citizen of this country who writes a lot about how the government actually works. I'm able to explain obscure things like how state legislation affects locality's ability to regulate their own land use. I'm capable of turning the impenetrable into narrative. 

Who am I? Do I even know? 

I just picked a scab by accident. I itched. I went there. 

Blood smells metallic because of the iron that courses through our veins. Each human on this planet is its own micro-biome filled with entire cultures of mites and so many other creatures. I just sniffed the wound and it smells like coins. Thoughts of Lincoln, Roosevelt, Jefferson and Washington come to mind. 

I wonder much about who we are, all seven and half billion of us on this planet. I seem so closed off to all but 150,000 of the planet now. I write about my local world exclusively and am not sure I'm doing enough. 

What does mean to be a citizen? 

I will be asking that question. 

The now, won't he?

I'm well past my sell-by date and I'll sit on the shelves for a while. I'm locked into the greater ecosystem and I'm at the sense where my youthful lubrication to get somewhere else may have dried up. I'm twice-divorced, work two jobs, and leveraged to a point where there is no ability to take risk. 

Yet I write those words with aplomb. 

I'm alive in a world that seems more and more absurd every day. I feel like I'm awake in a historical period where so much is at stake, and I'm an active observer, carving out a corner or two of narrative where I can. I'm one of over 7 billion people on this planet and a believer that any of us can be what we want to be. I still have hope despite experience. 

The point it, I didn't turn bitter. I wanted to, and every day there's a gravity wave that beckons me to give in. But I don't. And I won't.  The now is the now and I'm no longer going to worry if people understand me. 

I'm alive. I'm single. I'm a father of three. I'm a series of statements that really need to be put to music. Until then, I can tell you now and for sure that I am not throwing away my shot.