The now, won't he?

I'm well past my sell-by date and I'll sit on the shelves for a while. I'm locked into the greater ecosystem and I'm at the sense where my youthful lubrication to get somewhere else may have dried up. I'm twice-divorced, work two jobs, and leveraged to a point where there is no ability to take risk. 

Yet I write those words with aplomb. 

I'm alive in a world that seems more and more absurd every day. I feel like I'm awake in a historical period where so much is at stake, and I'm an active observer, carving out a corner or two of narrative where I can. I'm one of over 7 billion people on this planet and a believer that any of us can be what we want to be. I still have hope despite experience. 

The point it, I didn't turn bitter. I wanted to, and every day there's a gravity wave that beckons me to give in. But I don't. And I won't.  The now is the now and I'm no longer going to worry if people understand me. 

I'm alive. I'm single. I'm a father of three. I'm a series of statements that really need to be put to music. Until then, I can tell you now and for sure that I am not throwing away my shot.