I celebrate my birthday eve listening to a Sonic Youth show from 2007. I was in a different life then, had just started at Charlottesville Tomorrow, or was about to. As I listen to this, I'm about to begin a new adventure as an independent journalist who wants to try to create a new media outlet from scratch, based on a whole series of visions and plans that are culminating in this moment.
I have a very different life now.
We all do.
I've dealt with doubt and a lack of self-confidence my whole life. I can never feel like I belong anywhere. Or at least, that's been the case for so much of my life.
I always wanted to be a singer in a rock and roll band, one that changed people's minds, challenged them to think. There are sonic records of my attempts to try such things over the years, but I've mostly kept that to myself.
When the pandemic hit, I was scared. I knew the world was going to change. I poured my fears into the pandemic podcast, which reminded me of skills and talents I have that I had not been using. Suddenly, I wanted to be spending my time doing what I love best - research and writing about my community.
I've been doing that for almost twenty years now, off and on. Maybe longer if you count the work I did in computer BBS's back in the late 80's. Tomorrow I'm going to post a picture of the last remaining copy of a parody newspaper I made in high school called the Daily Bean. In elementary school, I wanted to create a comic like the Beano.
Hands up who knows what the Beano is!
Anyway, this has been my life. I have always wanted to express myself through writing and sharing with the world the results of pursuing my curiosity. Now I'm betting that enough of the community will decide paying me to pursue my craft is worth it to them.
The pandemic has made me feel like Charlottesville is where I belong. There is nowhere to go right now. But I have found everything is here. Every day I wake up and explore my world, the real one around me, before I begin my work. I literally feel grounded by this activity.
I saw Sonic Youth in Charlottesville in November 1990. I just looked it up to confirm. They played on November 15 at Tracks, and I am going to document this now on cvillepedia.
The night before I went to England in February 2019 to see my son in a play, I went with a lot of people to see Sonic Youth material and drummer Steve Shelley. I met a lot of neat people that night and began friendships.
Two years ago, that English son took me to see a play in London on my birthday, and it was one of the best times I've had. Our relationship is like the one depicted in Boyhood. This is how things turned out.
The world is not what it was in 2007. We weren't in a time like now, when everything seems like a struggle.
And now, Lee Ranaldo sings the end of Hey Joni, the time travel sounding bit, and I conclude this long post which is more suitable in a journal. I recommend this, even if you've never heard Sonic Youth before. It's a great place to start. Now, Kim Gordon is about to sing and I'm going to stop writing.
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