3/13/2022

Always look at the bird

The waters began rising a few days ago, for the first time in a couple of years. The last time this happened was when my longtime downstairs tenant was still here. Last spring I was alone and there was not enough use of the basement plumbing, so the waters didn't rise.
In years past, this would have sent me into a negative spiral. Since I bought this house 14 years ago, there have been issues with the downstairs plumbing in the spring. There's a blockage somewhere, and the emergency drain floods back when the laundry water is released from the washer. I've paid money for temporary fixes for years, but it's time to fix the problem for real.
There are entire towns that have been destroyed in the past three weeks in Ukraine. Millions of people will never see their home again. The entire world watches to see how far the flames of war will spread. Many are doing everything they can to help.
The past two years of crisis have changed me. Things that used to cripple me emotionally no longer are obstacles. My crisis goes back many years, as many of you know.
What's saved me in part is that at any moment, even a terrible one, I am able to notice what's happening in the background and bring it to the forefront of my mind, even if just for a moment. Just now I looked out at the dogwoods that stand in the corner of the park. The blossoms remain pink despite the 23 degree weather and yesterday's wintry weather.
My eye was drawn to them by two birds that flew up to the very top. Where did they come from? What will their day be like? Do they have a safe place? Are they preparing to raise their young? Where will they fly off to next?
There never needs to be an answer to any of those questions. But there is a lesson, I think, to try to be a person who notices what is outside of your mind. This can apply to anything.
I make my trade providing notice of what's happening in regional and local government. I'm grateful to everyone supporting me in this effort, and I am confident I will be able to address the likelihood of rising waters. I shall not drown today.

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