Yesterday I spent about 12 hours working on a newsletter, sitting in either my kitchen or my front room. This morning I woke up ready to work yet again, and I'm listening to a meeting from last Monday that I've not had a chance to listen to yet.
I'm moving stories from yesterday's newsletter onto an archive website that may well one day become my main venue for putting out information. I just know I need to create it, and keep asking questions and trying to provide decent answers.
The world doesn't make sense to most people. I see patterns and forces, and have an ability to write that I've honed across a lifetime. I've cleared mostly everything else out of my life except this work.
I'm only able to do this work now because I feel connected to the world through a series of friendships. I want other people to enjoy their lives, the same way I've clawed my way back to where I am now from a deep dark hole.
I know so many others want to stay in that hole. Others want to get out, but they can't find any tools to climb. Others have almost made it to the rim but have fallen so many times they don't want to bother anymore.
I know my posts may be bordering on annoying for many people, but that's not my intent. I write every morning on Facebook while my brain works up and I begin to remember how to put words together. I sincerely hope that each of you has a good day, or can withstand the onslaught of a bad one.
Two years ago I quieted my doubt and got back to work in a panic. Long ago, I learned how to turn my fear and apprehension into information for others. That's how I climb. It's how I fashion ladders.
Including my own. One day I too may have the area where I live bombed and destroyed. Until then, I want to live and bear witness.
No comments:
Post a Comment