For the first time in a while, I'm sitting facing the window in my front room looking out. There's a sea of plants in front of me and I wonder if they can hear the needle skipping on the record still playing behind me.
I keep thinking a lot about what's going to happen next after a season or two of turmoil and a real sense of impending calamity. I keep thinking about wanting to be safe and how I seem to not want to leave the house very often.
I could so easily stand up and change the record but I don't know what I would put on next. This morning I seem to be fixated on needing to sit here writing the many things I need to write to inform people of what's happening. I seem to need to start this process as soon as possible and sometimes I can zone out and it's done easily.
Other days, I really don't want to go through it. I just want to sit back and watch the world go by, wondering what will be in this space in 50 years.
The construction of the school behind me is affecting me with a constant vibration during the day, a humming that pervades the assembly of infrastructure for a school that will certainly be there in 50 years.
These existential thoughts don't the bills but they help me power through a moment I need to step out of the flow of information and just mark a little time for me.
Now, back to Hanover County.
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