Kim Kim Rock

Little Trouble Girl is playing on the radio as part of a WTJU Rock Marathon show focusing on Kim Deal and Kim Gordon and suddenly I'm plunged into a sense of how much of my life has passed and I missed it.
And then Cannonball comes on I can close my eyes and it's 30 years ago and I'm so convinced I'm going to change the world and be something and I'm going to be fix things and I don't know if that's true but 19 year old me heard this song for the first time and now I'm 51 in August and the end is closer than the beginning and I think about how many times I've heard this song and how many of them I did so alone, like I was at 19, like I was at all the other ages and like I always will be.
Life is best lived when you allow yourself to the feelings but don't allow yourself to be guided by any of them anymore. The sky is filled with clouds reflecting conversations between many parts of this earth and I remember how this song made me feel when I was young and now I'm old and I feel that same way again, hopeful but resigned to the fact that sadness reclaims everything in the end.
Oh and then Kool Thing comes on and.... I really need to push through and get the next newsletter out. I lament being alone and resigned to being that way the rest of my life, but at least I have this music as well as all the other music I've yet to discover.