Today we finish in Pennsylvania

In the grand scheme of things, I have absolutely no idea what this assemblage of words. I suppose that no matter what it comprises one slice of who I have been so far. I don't write much about who I am right now because I'd rather keep much of that to myself. 

Can you blame me?

I am not going to look back at any of this tonight because I don't know what I would find. Tonight I'm more concerned about the next four days I have here in Pennsylvania and how I can maximize my time with my parents. I don't live here and they don't live where they used to anymore. 

I am here now and I tell the television to play the Frog Brigade show from the Fillmore in Philadelphia back in October. Except the selection playing just plays selections. I was at the show and maybe snippets are what I need to remember the point. I was at the show and it was a very important night in my life.  This particular video was shot from where I stood for most of the first set before the intermission. 

In any case, I'm here and I've been here and for all of that time I still write about home. Today I did not finish my newsletter by 7:00 p.m. so I opted to post it tomorrow morning. That gives me some leisure time and I also know what I'm going to write about for C-Ville Weekly. 

It was a full day. I watched my father go through all of his degrees from various places, and I got a real sense of what his career was, working hard to make engineering processes more efficient. 

All I want for him and my mother is to remember the lives they have had, and not to use that to be positive about the future they have left. My job as their son is to do what I can to make sure that conversation continues, so I am glad I took time today from what is usually a full work day to spend time with them. 

My mum and dad are from Liverpool, grew up there at the same time as the Beatles. That's a fact that has always stuck with me and I wonder if I've written about this before in this silo. 

As I write this, I'm listening to Sean Lennon play one of the songs he made with Les Claypool as part of their partnership. He's two years younger than me, and has made something of himself more than just who his dad was. And now Lennon is playing on Hendershot, a Claypool song that is a response to a Johnny Cash song. I see my dad on the couch next to me six hours ago telling me the details about each document he went through. I'm lucky because I got to watch my dad grow older. 

"These are the people of Philadelphia!" Claypool chides Lennon after he asks him if it's the best version he's played so far. I'm sitting here in Bucks County five and a half months later and it sounded great again! 

My life here in Pennsylvania unfolds here at the same time as life unfolds back home, where I am already there four days from now unpacking and getting ready for whatever it is I do when I'm there. Even now I'm planning my next trip which likely does not involve a train but who knows? 

And then they go into Pink Floyd's Animals and I was there because I fought my anxiety and here I am now listening to it again thinking about family and how much maybe it's me who has to put a few things together.