How does someone who wrote over 80 stories in January relax?
The bitter boogie comes without a warning
When it's inside of me, it is exhausting
I don't like the way it makes me freeze up
Why, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, of course! Specifically right now listening to Paper Mâché Dream Balloon.
I'm at a point with this band where I recognize an amazing fountain of talent and going back reviewing the first few albums I heard and learning more about the production is helping me understand more about why I love this band and why their work resonates with me.
Track 3 is "Dirt" and Joey Walker wrote this one. Stu McKenzie wrote much wrote much of the rest of the album, but listening several years after driving around a small part of England is really helping me understand more about where they were in 2015 when this album was put together.
Where was I in 2015? I was not putting together amazing music, but I was at Charlottesville Tomorrow doing much of what I do now but without a boss and a board of directors.
Where am I am in 2025? For this particular night, I'm taking a moment to pause and reclaim a shred of my humanity. And that means listening to this album and knowing so much more about the six people who made this music.
We're now up to Track 5 and "Trap Door" and Stu's on the flute, and Cook Craig I think seems to repeat saying the title over and over. Then Track 6 kicks in and it's Cold Cadaver and the harmonies in this silly and macabre song makes me silly because by now I have a sense of how these humans put music together.
While this song is still on I'm waiting for the Bitter Boogie, Track 7. I'm going to stop listening to this album for now after I hear that track, which is credited to both Stu McKenzie and Ambrose Kenny-Smith. This particular song captures my existence as a depressive person so well.
When it's inside of me, it is exhausting
I don't like the way it makes me freeze up
I've not been well lately. My darkness has been worth paying attention to. I also worry that no one knows how to communicate anymore and I am hopeful maybe one person reads this and understands sometimes I get caught up in a weird self-hatred loop.
It is me.
But it's not all of me.
I'm grateful for Ambrose and Stu for this song. The existence of this song makes me feel I'm okay because I'm human because I make mistakes and don't know how to fix them. There is one person right now I want to apologize to but I'm not sure if they want that yet.
OH HECK!
Track 8 is a dark song and so upbeat. I'm going to leave it there. Time to move on with the night.
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