Still rolling a day later or so and it will take a while. I wish I could just stand up but I'd fall down and would be less likely to recover from any of the items. I wish I could explain and wish more than anything someone would just tell me it's going to be okay.
I don't know what will happen but I'll lose money today most likely and that's okay. I am sometimes not able to function as much as I would like. I often get a sense of being an outsider and I can't escape it so I retreat further into myself in order to feel okay.
I don't want to be around people today because I don't really have much to celebrate. In my view, my life is a total failure. At least, that's the view today. The springtime is filled with such unhappiness as I remember the idea of promise and then remember all the ones I broke.
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