My eye doctor's appointment is a month from now. There was one earlier but I'll be out of town. I'm concerned I'm going to run out of contact lenses and be forced to wear the glasses I bought in 2021 that have never really fit.
I had hoped by now someone would have fallen in love with me, but I see I repulse that sort of behavior. This isn't a bad thing necessarily. I just am not the kind of person people fall in love with. I'm a good friend, and people enjoy my company, but I'm not really here in their lives.
What am I? I don't know. I'm sitting here trying to start work on a gloomy Memorial Day and I haven't woken up yet. I'm listening to a band called The Intelligence, an album from 2004 and I'm enjoying it as I make my fingers connect to my brain.
I can't really type when the glasses are on. These are "progressive" glasses which is a euphemism for bifocal, but I've not been able to make them work for me. I know one day my vision will run out and I don't know what I'll do then but perhaps I'll just instead have to try to prevent that from happening by taking steps.
Those steps could very well include reorganizing my house. This office where I am is not necessarily an office but a dining room table that no one else will ever sit at as long as it's being used as a permanent desk.
The back rooms are off limits, though, because they're too close to the school. The basement is not finished. There really aren't great options except this space.
My life feels like a prison still. I was rescued once but there was not a happy ending unless this is it. It's not so bad being alone, writing to yourself because there's no one else. I'm a universal force repulsing all to keep them just far enough away for whatever reason.
So clear thinking is needed. I'm in love with me, a true statement as I seek a life in balance with itself. I believe this is possible as I continue through the workday.
It's a Memorial Day but they're still pulling down the big mound of dirt where the soccer field and track used to be. If this is the happy ending, I don't much care for the setting, but I admire the plot and the characters who have been around. It may be time to move past that, though, as the future beckons and if no one else wants to come with me, I'll go by myself.
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