There's too much happening in my brain most of the times and so I don't always spend a lot of time processing the past. Yet, there will be a future and important decisions have to be made.
For today the immediate pressure is to get a story to C-Ville Weekly about a meeting that happened last night. I've not heard the meeting but I know the item was an hour and forty-five minutes or so.
I will use transcription software to read the meeting and pull soundbites accordingly. Once I have all of the elements in place I will begin work. That will likely be another 20 minutes or so. Maybe more. This story would not usually be due until next Monday but this is the end-of-year issue and they want to have a break.
I want a break, too, but I take breaks by organizing everything in a constant effort to make the business work better. The business, of course, being just me. I need to change that as well.
But for this moment I'm hoping to remove files from my Google Drive in order to free up some space. I'm not sure how any of this works anymore and I think that may be a control tactic on the part of the elite in charge.
As of 10:13 a.m. I've not even checked my email. This thought comes over me as I forgot that I was hoping to delete files. A Public Image Limited song is playing in the other room in a kitchen that now doubles as a sound-recording studio.
Have I recorded anything yet? No. But that's not important.
The house is very messy and disorganized. Someone says they will be swinging by later and so I want to try to do something about the cat litter, a problem that needs constant attention and I'm not coming up with the right solutions. I'll get to that later.
For now I've got 15 minutes until I want to be at work and I've not deleted a single file yet. I will focus on that now and document in an attempt to make it actually happen.
"Careering" is the song and the discordant tune haunts me and I stop for a moment and I realize my neck is tired of sitting and looking at computers all day. For the sacrifice of those muscles, I decide I can't delete three files from April 2024 until I know for sure I won't need them.
But then I look again and the one I would want to keep is a null file, anyway. I decided to get rid of the other two, one of which is a duplicate.
What about two meetings from April 2024? I decide this is not work I want to do. Or at least, I don't want to erase huge files from meetings that may be useful.
I decide to look at more recent files and make decisions based on whatever passes for memory in me at the moment. It's at this point I think the file I need to use might be ready for loading into the audio editor.
I abandon the idea of removing anything else from the past and decide I should focus on getting the stories done. It is 10:19 a.m. and I think I still have eleven minutes left in my break time.
I opt to load up the email program. I have a sense there's something in there I need to respond to but I'm still in my dreams and don't want to connect to anyone in the real world. This is one of the great joys of living a solo life. Other people terrify me as I think they'll always be disappointed in me. And those I seek to pursue always are.
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It is now 10:30 a.m. The meeting is loaded into the program. I'm searching for a photograph to illustrate this post. This has led me to a desire to process a few pictures. I've got over 14,000 on my cloud and I want to use some of them to illustrate cvillepedia, a website I don't own but am still the primary person uploading.
I'm an odd person. I want to document as much as I can. I want to feel every moment was captured was a time where I was alive. Where I had some sort of agency. I will not always have that.
This process stops when I remember how things in my life grew much darker. I don't want to document that here and I think I got what I needed.
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