What did I want to say? Why did I open up this window?
It is open now and I stopped doing what I was doing because I had a thought I wanted to capture. If I keep typing, this thought will come back and when it does, something may be shaped.
I often dream of being on an airplane to England and something goes wrong and we don't make it there. The plane is never destroyed. The fuselage just ends up on the ground somehow and I have feelings about not making it to the destination.
This morning this repeated and the plane for some reason couldn't get altitude and we ended up going backwards at the end, the tail rising into the end as if it were an amusement park. At no point did I think we were going to die.
I was relieved I wasn't going to England. When I am having these experiences, they seem real and I feel sensations. The dreams are telling me something, these repeated stories and themes.
I am at a point where I don't think I'll ever go to England again. If I were to travel outside the country I would want to try something new. Yesterday I spent an hour plotting out my upcoming train trip, a journey not yet defined. One friend suggested I fly as far out as I can and ride the rails back. Such a trip would be epic.
Could I take the time off? Why was I relieved in the dream? Was it that I would go back to work and didn't have to worry about anything else? That is the sensation I feel now in the real world where I'm trying to remember for certain how I went to sleep.
I have a lot to do on this Friday and soon I will be in a space where I will be undisturbed and I can create whatever I want to do. I do not know what the day will be, but I have no plans and savor that if I choose to do so, I will not have to interact with anyone but can instead write stories for others.
The plane had landed in Kentucky somewhere and they were sending ground transportation. We were all outside and the conversations I had were fading but I have a memory of someone I was attracted to, and I knew I had to walk away and so I decided to leave the bounds of the dream and walk out into the forest under a rainy dawn.
This is what I wanted to say and now I have committed 12 minutes worth of words and I hope that this is a good foundation for a productive day.
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