Aware of the problem

I can't entirely see myself. At least, I struggle sometimes to see how I affect others when I get angry. 

I am aware enough of the problem that my first instinct is almost always to retreat from people. I'm ashamed of who I am, and how I can let my anger bubble into venom. 

Yet, I have to try to go through the world anyway.

I'm nothing special, just as anyone reading this is nothing special. But, I am hoping that in all of the writing I have done about my anger over the years, I've been able to get enough of a glimpse of it. 

There's not much else to say in this post. I don't want to include details here, and I can't seem to convert thoughts into fiction. I would like to learn that skill. I think this would help a lot. 

For now, I lay down this stone as another in the mosaic. I'm not sure what the overall pattern will be, but today I will try to understand negativity if it courses through my veins as I seek out a day approaching leisure. Today I don't want to lock myself away in the attic. 

Yet, maybe it would be best I stay there?