I woke up this morning with a deep sense that it is time to plan for something new even if I stay where I am. I believe that truly would mean finding a way to make it over to England to see if I could do something interesting.
I feel washed up here, which may not be an accurate or valid thought. I do feel there's a lot of work left to do here but I also am very concerned I'm running out of resources to do it. My finances are the worst they have been.
Yet, I feel drawn to do the work. I've spent over 20 years building up what I do and I don't want it to go away. I want to continue the work, even if I also want to think about what it would be like to live somewhere else.
I'm scrambled a lot by seven-day work weeks for many years now. I don't know how to relax effectively. I also feel more isolated than I have in a while, in part because much of my work surfs through the conflict and some of it sticks to me. I don't think Charlottesville is a very healthy place.
"Is anywhere healthy right now?"
I don't know. But I need my mind to be healthy and to do that I have to imagine more than what I have at the moment.
Leicester is up 1-0. This is a League One match, the third tier, and it's more entertaining much of the World Cup. And then Notts County comes back with a brilliant. Local rivalry in the East Midlands. Will I ever go there? Will I ever have a reason to go there?
I have never felt like I belonged in Virginia. Could I shed that if I lived in England for a while? Or would this feeling stick to me forever? I don't know. I have a lot of things I need to think about and an entire season of football to look forward to and provide momentary thoughts.
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