Okay, it's really not that bad. It's simply life at night in a town that's had a pretty good track record of making such a thing enjoyable. I wasn't expecting this sudden transformation of my life back to having time to go out and do things after work, but here I am.
And, it's okay. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I went out to Fellini's and then Miller's tonight, and I had a good time. There was a duo doing a very jazzy drums and bass. I didn't have much to drink. I had a good time being out.
I've always had an ambivalent relationship to going out at night. For one thing, in high school I spent most evenings in front of a computer learning how to work BBS software. In college, I spent most evenings either working for Backstreets Pizza, or at the offices of the Tech Independent trying to put our paper to bed. I've always felt like I should be working. Even now, I've committed all my Friday's to working at Court Square Tavern. But, of course I'll go out after that.
I was a bit pessimistic in that last post. Selective editing. What I didn't say was that I had a great time at the bar I was at, watching a live band and remarking on how talented people can be. I had such a good time listening to music and being out and feeling part of a community. So what if I didn't have the courage to talk to anyone? I was out experiencing something new.
I was pessimistic on Thursday, but on Friday I was optimistic. I had an incredible night waiting tables, and then went out with friends for a while. For the first time in a long time, I felt okay being alone. I didn't expect to ever be alone again, but here I am.
And you know? It's really not so bad.