Sometime Sunday afternoon, I felt a sudden change in my body and knew I was infected by something. I wasn't sure what, but I knew it was going to affect me a few days. On Monday, I still had to work. I don't have a normal job where I can take off. I have deadlines almost every single day. Some people don't like the use of the word deadline, but if I miss any, I feel horrible. And disappoint people. I got it all done, crashed as soon as I was done. Overnight yesterday the symptoms got worse. It's just a cold laced with allergies so the windows have to stay shut. There are blooms outside all the accessible windows so fresh air will have to wait. Yesterday I didn't want to work, either, and I could have gotten away with not doing anything but there was information I wanted to get out. Last week, an elected official said something absolutely incorrect and serendipity got me a story to set the record straight. Pertained to childcare. Someone else got stabbed, the kind of
Little Trouble Girl is playing on the radio as part of a WTJU Rock Marathon show focusing on Kim Deal and Kim Gordon and suddenly I'm plunged into a sense of how much of my life has passed and I missed it. And then Cannonball comes on I can close my eyes and it's 30 years ago and I'm so convinced I'm going to change the world and be something and I'm going to be fix things and I don't know if that's true but 19 year old me heard this song for the first time and now I'm 51 in August and the end is closer than the beginning and I think about how many times I've heard this song and how many of them I did so alone, like I was at 19, like I was at all the other ages and like I always will be. Life is best lived when you allow yourself to the feelings but don't allow yourself to be guided by any of them anymore. The sky is filled with clouds reflecting conversations between many parts of this earth and I remember how this song made me feel when I was