11/22/2011

Towards the end of loss

I am so tired of feeling sad all the time. I'm doing something about it.

I am resolving to think different.

Three years now since my marriage ended and I've moved through so many chapters. If I look within, I can't quite remember exactly what the actual cause is for this feeling in my stomach, this wrenching, and the constant battle to stop fixating.

The memories of loss are so sharp, and echoing so much these days. This happens every fall, when the leaves go down exposing the sharp realities of wooden networks. Everything laid bare, everything so spare.

I do not hate loss and I do not hate sadness. I've been around on Earth now for long enough to know that these things go in cycles. I get dizzy and the sadness fills within me. This is part of being human, and I acknowledge that I am human publicly in the hopes it might actually move me forwards the light.

No comments: