Another reset, another mindset

The solstice solstices and our planet heads back now into the dark. In six months we'll begin going the other way yet again. Between now and then we'll sleep, work, eat, breathe, and have emotions. We'll aspire to great things, and try to not publicize the bad ones.

So, I take this day to note that I have once again reset the name to reflect where I may fit on a hypothetical list of all the people in the world in terms of birth order. When I began this blog in 2006, I was somewhere in the 3.5 billion range, but now I'm assuming I'm the 2.5 billionth (or so) oldest person. I'll keep counting down until I can figure out a way to change my birthday.

Yet, my birthday is a fixed point in time, as is every moment once we move past it. We can't go back to stop ourselves from  breaking the things we shattered, but hopefully we can learn to be more mindful in each  moment so as to reduce the number of shards we're responsible for.

As I go forward and approach my 40th year, I am going to try to continue down the path of positive scheming and dreaming. It is also my hope that I can overcome the various fears that keep me from reaching out to others to make music.

One day towards that will be to post some of my tracks here. Now, please keep in mind these are raw. I've not yet learned how to write songs, but that's going to happen in the next year. I'm scared to be awful, or to have what I do revealed to be awful. But, every single second I've recorded has some worth, because each represents a moment in which I was capable of making choices. This doesn't make for music that will be remembered through the ages, no. But, I'll just be happy to keep trying to turn my original energy into something that a wider audience can appreciate.

The goal, though, is to find the collaborators I know are out there who are on the same page as me. Maybe they can help harness the feelings I have to create pulses and beats and harmonies and choruses and melodies. I don't want to do this alone. But, I have to do it, one way or the other. I'm too old to not believe in myself.

Today's download: The Camera Captures (June 14, 2013): Very quick thing that launched  a 45 minute practice session. I don't usually go into these with an idea, so the lyrics often end up being a meditation on the process. I always seem to be capturing myself with a camera, either through the written word of these sonic soliloquys. To what end?

Until the end, my friend. Until the end. If I'm not creating, I may as well give up now.

No comments: