10/31/2013

I love holidays

There's a certain beauty to watching other people revel in enjoyment today, the silliest of all days. Everyone dresses up, everyone seems merry, and a good time is had by all. People are smiling, people are happy, and there's energy of greatness all over. I'm happy to see children walking up and down the bricks of the mall. 

It's no matter that I'm still working, and that I miss my children so much right now. I wish I was out there with them, and I'm happy knowing that I have at least a 50/50 shot of being with them next Halloween. 

I won't see them for ten days over Christmas. While that fact makes me sad, I will have to do some work to make sure that it does not cast a shadow over my activities now. I may not see them at Christmas, but I will see them at Thanksgiving, and I will get to have some fun activity with them.

Being a single parent who only sees his children a third of the month can be painful, but it makes me appreciate my little ones when I have them.

I am positive. I am resilient. I can make this all work out, despite the fact that I suffer from depression, an illness I will live with until I die. 

There's a sadness in all of our lives, and I'm not going to shy away from it. I may have had a bad day today, but I know why, and I will try  to remember that as a human being I am capable of a full range of emotions, and they don't all have to be sadness even though my body chemistry defaults that way. 

Happy Halloween, everyone! And I look forward to celebrating the rest of the 2013 holidays with some of you! 

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