12/29/2014

Reset

This is the time of year when it could be either AM or PM when the clock strikes 6:54. I know, though, that the eastern sky will begin to turn a dark light blue to begin a mild winter's day in Virginia. 

I've already run two miles. I woke up at 3:30, read for a while, and then couldn't get back to sleep. So, at 5:30, I decided to get up and walk to the gym. It was pleasant to be there with four or five other people. I hope to see them again.

This is the time at which I have to do right by myself and carve out a new habit. I remember what it felt like five years ago when my life had begun again and I was alive! I was a year out of my separation and everything was going great! The fall of February 2010 had not yet happened, with the long slow climb towards where I am now. 

I am happier than I have been for a while. You might not get that, given the context of recent posts. I was at the tavern on Friday and it was awful, but Saturday and Sunday were spent in near-solitude with me endlessly cleaning and organizing and preparing for 2015. This is going to the be the most important year yet, and I want to be ready. I want to question all of the things I assume about the way my life is set up and how it operates. I don't want to wallow anymore in this hole. I want to fashion ladders and skyhooks and new lighting fixtures. I want to make all of this count for something. 

So, yes. This is the reset. It's already happened. 

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