10/02/2015

Two months into 42

This is the first day in seven that I'm going to go to the gym. I feel weird about this because I would love to go. But I'm working on a story and I have to go to work shortly. I don't much want to go to work, but I'm facing up to my responsibilities.

I'll also work tomorrow, finishing up this story as well as doing a catering shift.

This isn't where I wanted to be, financially, at 42. But, it's what I have to do. Becoming suddenly single so suddenly after purchasing a house almost seven years had an effect that will last well into my fifties.

Now that I can see my fifties approaching, at least on a spreadsheet, I no longer feel young, mentally. I feel my options are pretty limited, so I'm trying to be the best at the things

Physically, though, I feel fantastic because I know I'm on the right track. I've not had a soda in almost two months and I've given up coffee.

I've also given up hope in other arenas, but I won't go into that here. Things are more or less going great, except when I realize how much I have a life that works best if I'm alone. I'll be working as much as I can as long as I can to dig myself out of a whole dug with the efforts of long-gone passion.

Tomorrow, though, I'll go to the gym before I go to work. I'll try my best to stay positive. I get knocked down, and I get up again.

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