I can't seem to focus.
Sometimes to focus I need to put words down in sequence.
I've become a person who gets to paid to write and I need a lot of organization to make that work out.
A Kraftwerk song plays on the turntable and I realize halfway through the song that it is playing at the wrong speed.
"Why is there a woman singing a song with Kraftwerk?" I wondered.
As I type these words I'm not sure what I was doing a few minutes ago. Work, presumably. After spending a week with my rapidly declining parents, I'm questioning my own mindset as I seem to try to do a lot with my brain without giving it much rest.
I'm awake early to get to work because I feel I need to get a newsletter out quickly.
I was awake before the sun and I don't want to work but the other part of me does. The two of me are always disagreeing. Forcing myself to write a clarifying set of paragraphs hopefully will allow me to get up to speed.
*
After the first song is over, I turn the player to the correct speed and begin the record over. I inherited these albums from a housemate who died during COVID and left all of his stuff here. He did not die of COVID but of symptoms related to alcohol withdrawal.
I am aware that I need to chart a different pathway if I am to accomplish all that I want to accomplish in life. This doesn't have to be an arduous way forward. There is much I can jettison in order to get to where I want.
Where I want now is to get back to the work.
It's 6:52 a.m. and Radioactivity sounds much better at its proper speed.
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