Two weeks in

Morning

I show a lot of signs of burn-out and I would like to stop and recharge. Yet I have to keep this bus driving as best I can. 

I've not really taken a day off since Thanksgiving. On that day, I gave myself over to a day with friends who are like family. I didn't turn my computer on the whole day.

That was nearly two months ago. 

Now I am not certain who I am, exactly. That perhaps sounds more dramatic than it really is, but I don't really know anymore. 

I'm having a hard time getting enthusiastic about the stories I am trying to write. 

Evening

I made edits to the story today and got first direction back. I had disengaged and put myself into newsletter mode. 

I'm so tired. It's now evening and I want to try to relax and get into the work again but I also don't really have anything else to do. I can't stop thinking about what I need to do to next, and there's a lot.

I don't want it to be like this all of the time. Since my birthday, I've had so much more of a craving to live my life, but I can't clear the time I need. I did a lot in the fall, and now I realize I can't do that unless the pursuit is going to lead to something. 

That seems too limiting. I want more but right now I think it might just be best to get an early bedtime and hope I'm able to get to the work tomorrow.