Winter is Coming

TAKE ONE

I can sense that this is indeed going to be a difficult several months coming up. For one, I am still building up a steady income. I have shown I can deliver a high-quality news product from my own home. I've managed to become more and more prolific, while trying to sort things out.

But, this time of the year is one where my loneliness is accentuated, even in normal times. The last two years were very rough for me, and the losses have caused wounds that will never heal. All of it is my fault and responsibility. At least, that's what the official story will always be.  

There are serious warnings of civil unrest next week. I am concerned. I'm not sure what will happen, but I'm scared. 

TAKE TWO

We've done so much to get through these tough times, and we know more are on the way. There is no certainty to how any of this will go. I still remember the feeling of coming together in March, and then it was like a lot of that feeling was a fantasy. It wasn't, though, because we're capable of going through it again. 

I have to have faith that we're going to find a way to better times. That's what humans do. My faith is not in the supernatural, but the actual natural fact that humanity is resilient. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I know that I'm going to keep my eyes open and be extra alert for a while. 

Which is how I've been since A12. How I've been for the past four years now. How I've been for longer than, probably. Life wasn't what I expected, and I feel like I've lost so much over and over again. Some through my own negligence, others not. I'm not here right now to keep score. 

I am here to figure out how to help us all move forward. I have chosen to spend as much as time as I can writing about the things I know about the community. I'm hoping that I can make a living doing this. I am resilient. I will try my best to survive. I get knocked down, and I get up again. 

I am done keeping myself down. 

 

 

Pitch to the Community Investment Collaborative, October 27, 2020

Still a work in progress

My name is Sean Tubbs, and I'm a journalist who has recently returned to daily practice after a brief pause in a long career. This is the central website for the ways to help I am seeking to help the community understand itself better.  I've got over a quarter-century experience in research and writing about our section of Virginia, and I'm here to work for the community. 

To do so, I have launched a new business called Town Crier Productions in order to make a living as I go about my work researching public policy in our community.  You can help me by making a contribution:

• Support my research by making a donation through Patreon
• Sign for a subscription to Charlottesville Community Engagement, free or paid
• Pay me through Venmo

Local journalism across the country has fallen on hard times and there's a lot of uncertainty. You may have seen headlines about reporters getting laid off. But democracy requires an informed public, and that's where I come in for the area in and and around Charlottesville. 

My mission is to provide a constant flow of information about this area to provide context about decisions made by our elected and appointed officials.  Documenting what happens is important not only so that voters can make informed decisions, but also so that the future can look back upon what happened. 

Good morning to the man on 7 1/2 Street

My new routine is waking up in the middle of the night, knowing full well I won't get back to sleep. I know I have a newsletter to get out and I generally can't wait to get started.

I'm trying to walk to the store each day to get a cup of coffee. For most of the pandemic I'm driven this distance. I'm trying to break myself of that habit. I live alone and I like the brief human contact. I've gotten to know the clerk over the past while and I wanted to hear this morning about her trip to see her new granddaughter.

As I'm walking in the morning dark, I'm struck by how warm it still is, despite the fallen leaves. There are still crickets, but they're faded now. I'm enjoying the silence before everyone wakes up.

I am walking down a narrow city street that seems more like a country lane. There are many different kinds of houses ranging from stark brick duplexes to what appears to be from the mid 19th century. There are empty lots where a trailer and a house were removed.

In ten years, this will all look different.

My morning contemplation is shattered as I hear two runners behind me, their conversation audible even as they dozens of feet behind me. They are loud.

They run past. One man shouts "GOOD MORNING" and I'm taken aback. I'm just trying to walk quietly. I generally like salutations of this kind, but it's dark and people live on this street.

Another runs past. "Good morning!"

And another. And another. A woman with a dog plays music loudly, like she's running through a party. The group are distanced from each other, mostly and my initial annoyance gives way to amusement as I feel the energy of these people. I think, maybe I should run again.

I've not run in over a month and feel like it won't happen anytime soon. Not yet. Telling me to run will only make me double down on not running. It's funny how the brain of a depressive works that way. It's funny how I know myself, and how I've spent most of the year challenging myself, pushing myself to change.

Now I've changed my life and am trying to create a job for myself. There are 455 people who have subscribed to my newsletter, and I'm confident I will grow that number.

All I want to do for the rest of my life is document this place, this place that annoys and amuses me. As the leaves fall, I look forward to the coming spring and seeing this place all come to life once more. That's only a few months away. There may be cold dark days ahead, but I know that I'm part of a community that will get through it together. And I'll write about that, too.

1Julia McDonough

Another day in the world

I'm doing the work I want to do. I have two government meetings streaming into the room I've turned into a studio. The one I'm listening to is about the form-based code for Rio Road. I've written about that for a long time, and I did not like that I was not writing about the details anymore.

I did, but I did not think I could write anything publicly. It was more difficult as I was in a different role. I am glad of the experience. But now things are very different. 

It's somewhat overwhelming right now. I can't fully commit all of my time to the journalism because I have to find a way to cover my costs. I am very glad I have taken this leap of faith, though. I believe in myself and now it's about getting others to believe as well.