Eating and exercise

Now that I've lost 40 pounds, it's time to think about building back up by adding muscle. Which means I have to eat more. Lately my body is letting me know when it is not getting enough to eat. If I do not eat, I have massive mood swings. This can have disastrous consequences.

Just now, I've had to step out of a meeting for a bit so I could get a bite to eat. Waiting another three hours would have been ill advised, and likely would have ruined the rest of my day. The last thing I need is to crash into depression because my body isn't getting the nutrition it needs.

But now, I've just eaten, and already, I want to eat again but I'll need to stay here for at least a couple more hours. Then I'll go home and fix myself a quesadilla in order to make sure I have energy for tomorrow.

In order to do this right, I'm going to need to come up with a nutrition plan, and I'm going to have to get used to enforcing some discipline when it comes to eating. Today I had a banana for breakfast, followed by a work-out, followed by a tofu curry from Peking Chinese, followed by a packet of peanuts, then a Snickers bar, and then a three cheese bagel.

In short, I didn't plan and so I had to go out to eat. And I can't afford it. I really can't afford it. And now that I cook for myself most days, I'm not in the habit of cooking large amounts at once. I'll have to change that, and I guess it's part of the shift to the new me.

The other night I ran ten miles for the first time ever. I'm really enjoying how my body is changing, and how I am changing as a result. I'm not certain that all of the desired effects are manifesting themselves. I'm not entirely calmer than I was, and there are still times when stressors get the best of me. But, I feel like I can be in control of myself as I learn a little more discipline.

My biggest fear is that somehow I go back to the way I was before, when I took my body for granted, and just assumed all was well. I can remember how sluggish I felt on the weekends, with no energy at all. I won't go back to that. Even if I have to stop running, I'll find some way to stay active. I love running because it gives me a chance to feel young while I explore my community.

Planning is key to everything, and remaining flexible when the plans don't go exactly as you might have thought. I didn't expect this would be my life, but it is, and I'd like to think I've remained flexible.

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