The white space beckons and waits to be filled with something that might approach meaning but won't actually touch it. There's a gap that has to be filled and I'm no longer sure I know how to do so. Where would the aggregate come from?
In other words, I no longer know what to write when I open up this conduit to the world. There is so little happening in my life that's worth writing about, at least not to a general audience.
But now it is October and I want to challenge myself to something new in anticipation of another challenge that shall commence 31 days from now. I am going to post to this blog once a day for the next four and a half weeks. This task shall serve as a pacemaker and shall force me to open up my eyes and ears. So many of my synapses have collected dust.
Let's set the scene. I've been prone to negative thinking of late, but have been fighting off the dark forces with as much energy as I can muster. I've carved a new place for fitness amongst the hours I must provide information or provide drinks to people. I'm not quite where I was at the height of my physical training, but I am on the right track and sacrifice a lot of social time in order to take to the streets or walk to the gym.
I'm also plugging away at the guitar, and going through hours and hours of recordings in the hopes of seeing if any of the ideas I've come up with might be worth something. In the near future, I will reach out to others in the hopes of meaningful collaboration.
At the heart of everything right now is this war between the part of me that wants to revel in the negative and that which wants to blossom in the light. Looking back at my life, I can see this tidal pattern has crushed many of my hopes and dreams.
So I am trying to harness it, somehow, and by enforcing 31 deadlines I will see what happens. What will I have written about? Will I have carved a few more pathways?