Sudden downtime

I have my children every other Saturday, and I usually work on the one they are with their mother. 

Today, however, is the first off-Saturday in several months where I don't have anything to do. I don't have a catering gig and the plans I had made to go away were canceled. I don't have anything to do or anywhere I have to be until sometime on Monday. 

But here I sit, paralyzed, not quite knowing what I'm allowed to do. I doubt I'll leave the house. 

The blinds are closed. There's a world out there, but I'm not feeling very good about venturing out into it today. I'm a bit hurt remembering all of the bad decisions I've made in my life. If I stay here, I won't have to make any choices. 

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