It's Friday morning, the first of October of this year, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do next. There are so many tasks and I know I will get to some of them. I believe I should sit here and do my duty and get back to a mindset I had five years ago when there was nowhere to go.
I've deleted social media from my phone again and logged out for my browser. These actions don't do anything as I'll likely install them again. But I need to stop tapping into whatever energy that is and begin to think for myself.
There's much I would like to write but I don't know where to put it. I do believe I may need to go back into my mind to see what I can find there. I have always had this theory that I've spread my thoughts across time which only makes sense at certain times.
"Nonsense!" you may exclaim. There appear to be slightly more readers than usual, though the correct word may actually be "observer" because I'm not sure any of it is real. We're in something different and I'm not entirely sure what to do next.
Yet nothing has snapped yet and it may be time to become more attune to all of the variables which may mean subtracting some of those which may lead to a puncturing of the fabric of my universe. It will end one day, but for now there are moments that can be tied together.
*
Just now I had the impulse to tell everyone something, but now that thought has faded. The morning is always much looser for me and this particular Friday is a day off of sorts because I don't have to do a radio show.
I also have a hard out of 1 p.m. so I have to get a story to the newspaper. There are so many to sort through and I am at the point where I have to review possibilities, but when I look at something, I want to write it in the moment.
Perhaps I should refrain from any public writing? I do not want notoriety. I just want space to be myself and remind myself that being self-contained is a security plan.
*
I have this thought, though, that I have to become much more passionate about defending the middle and my view of what the world should be. I have demonstrated in my milquetoast manner that I am trying to hold people together by trying to create a series of narratives that describe a place.
What should I do with it?
Perhaps the best answer is just to proceed on the path and see what happens. This exercise has been useful in that my head is now clear.
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