In years gone by, I would be ready to report in real-time.
These days the world has moved on.
I yelled at someone today in a crosswalk as they crossed against the light. I do not feel good about this, but they were in the wrong. I asserted what I wanted to say, and they told me to fuck off.
Today I wrote about people asking for improvements to the pedestrian infrastructure two blocks to the east at that same location. A woman died in a crosswalk there while crossing and there were no lights at all.
That was not the case where I was trying to get through.
I wasn't inconvenienced. I just think it's important for people to follow signs if they are in a place that tells them it is not safe to cross.
I feel bad about yelling. And on this Election Night that's what I hope to remember. I feel like I need to be able to describe situations in my professional life and also be able to express concern when someone is breaking a rule.
Wanting rules doesn't mean you want to be a fascist.
I want order. I want people to realize they are in a system. Systems need some basic idea that there is a way things are to be done.
In this case, I wanted someone to know if they cross a street that has a signal saying "don't cross" they might get hurt or killed. It's on my brain. I want people to survive. That means you pay attention to some of the rules and don't decide you get to flaunt one of them in the name of your own story.
And now I worry that maybe this person will report the transaction. That would be fine. I already acknowledge I maybe should not have said anything, but it was dusk and I see people driving very aggressively all of the time. I was not aggressive, though I did respond in kind to the fuck you.
I'm both a person who writes about public infrastructure and someone who coexists within it.
It happened and I hope to meet the person to try to explain. It was not just that moment. Each of us is an intelligence with memory co-existing in the same space.
No matter what happens, I'm going to keep trying to flesh out all I can.