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Showing posts from March, 2009

Introducing my electronic past

For years, I've wanted to do something with the hours of electronic noise I used to create as a hobby. I began this hobby about ten years ago, and spent a lot of time using various programs to assemble collages of cacophony. I've kind of lost interest of late, but when I installed the Yahoo player a few months ago, I figured I would upload a track here and there as a way of building a soundtrack for the site. First up is this track, which I made six or seven years ago, right after I first moved to Charlottesville. I don't remember anything else about it except to say that it's called "Understood Enemy." The track came on in iTunes this morning at the precise moment I got an e-mail from someone who fits that description, so I thought I should reveal it to the world. Understood Enemy Nothing earth-shattering, but it's something I did once.

Notes on my first race

At 8:30 AM I was standing at a table in Newcomb Plaza at the University of Virginia, writing a check to the race director of the Camp Holiday Trails 5K Race. A friend of mine I recently met through my roommate had told me about the event through a comment on my Facebook page on Thursday. I had the space in my schedule to enter, but was concerned I wasn't mentally prepared. When I woke up at 7:30 AM, I looked out my second-floor window at the thermometer that hangs on the garden wall. 30 degrees. The part of my mind that's responsible for coming up excuses was pleased, because that was far too cold to run. My body would freeze, I thought. I wouldn't have a good experience. Another excuse: I wasn't entirely sure if my friend was going to show up. We hadn't made concrete plans. But, I had made a decision publicly on Facebook, and people had wished me luck. So, I got up, stumbled downstairs, and thought seriously about simply watching the Battlestar Galactica finale ins

So grateful to YouTube

Sometimes I'm so grateful that YouTube exists. I heard a great song on WNRN yesterday, and called the station to find out who was playing it. The lyrics just took over and seemed to underscore exactly what I was thinking at the moment. Woman singing over top what sounded like homemade instruments, and it all came together into something powerful and meaningful. The DJ told me the band was Psapp, and the track was Mister Ant. Or at least, that's what I heard. So, now I'm searching YouTube for that track, and of course, I'm in the process of discovering something I'm really enjoying, as well as seeing some really clever videos. Here's a couple of them: These are worth watching for the videos alone, I think. I was feeling kind of down earlier, but watching these I'm cheered up and am glad for something new to add to the internal soundtrack. And one day I'll actually find the song I'm looking for. It's a question of how much research I want to do.

Dealing with my inability to tie shoes

I don't know why, exactly, but I seem to have the inability to tie shoes. If you see me on the streets, chances are I have two weed wacker blades spinning around my feet as I walk. Strangers always tell me to be careful, but I never seem to trip. I double-knot, triple-knot and sometimes even quadruple knot. But, they still come untied. Each and every time. I have sort of come to accept it as one of my quirks. But, my roommate told me politely the other night that this little quirk may be a hindrance as I enter the dating scene. She said that women tend to look at a man's shoes very quickly as part of the sizing-up process. I imagine a check-sheet somewhere with a series of categories. Looks would be on there. Height. Shoe size. Clothes. Mannerisms. Demeanor. Untied shoes may not be a distinct category, but they certainly won't help. So, what shall I do? Is there a shoe tying course I could take? Maybe I could take that course as part of a bundle where I can learn more abou

Thoughts on being disconnected

My fingers tap the keys at this moment minutes after getting back into town after four days away with my friends. In that time, I have not checked my e-mail once. I have not looked at a Facebook status update. I have not tweeted, twitter or twut. In return, I have a relatively clear head. I don't even really want to check my mail. Can it wait until morning? I know there will be a mixture of good and bad news, and I'm not so certain I want to subject myself to that so late at night. Four days. I've not gone that long without checking my mail for many, many years. In the past four days I had other things on my mind. My boss kindly left a post-it note to my computer which just said "Have fun and relax!" and I gleefully accepted that advice. And so, I'll conclude my night right now without checking my mail. It can wait until morning.

Anticipating four days away

This time tomorrow I hope to be on a beach on the Gulf of Mexico. I am traveling down with friends to see someone who left town about this time next year. I am toying with the idea of not taking a computer, not taking my iPod, not taking anything but me and a bag of clothes. I will not be back until Monday night. Except for periodic trips to Smith Mountain Lake, I've not been outside of Charlottesville for more than one night for a long time. I've not been on an airplane in almost a year and a half. Come to think of it, this will be my first domestic flight in more than ten years. When I was younger I thought I would have traveled the world by now. Or at least, I thought I would have seen more of the United States of America. Somehow, though, I've become ensnared by Charlottesville and it seems as if this will be my home for the foreseeable future. I'm glad to be here, but I'm salivating at the prospect of being in a place that is different, if only for a few short

Going to war against dread

Tonight I have to do something I don't want to. I have to put myself in an environment that could very well crush my spirit into a little ball. But, I have to do it. I have to be tough and just get through the pain. Six hours out, I am not dreading this experience. But, as I get closer, I'm worried that the dread will turn my synapses into sand. Every thought will chafe and irritate and take me away from the path. Writing publicly seems to be a way to make me feel a little bit better, and a little less humiliated about the way things are in this part of 2009. I've spared the public most of the details, and I will continue to do so. I want to be consistent and be the same person every day. But I'm still grieving, and the process is not a predictable one. I may end up writing more about this later on tonight.

A small victory for a single dad!

Thanks to comments from Kevin Cox in the last post. I'd have to say that given the circumstances of my living arrangement, I'm not entirely in control of where he sleeps. But, I will say that last night there was a small victory of sorts. Most notably that he slept almost entirely through the night! After a small struggle, I got him down by 9:00 PM or so. He woke up at 2:30 AM, but I got him down again. We all slept in until about 7:30 AM, and had a nice and slow time watching the snow continue to fall. Now we're sitting here having a nice quiet morning. Sam is playing with a box and I'm just about to turn off the television. The sun is shining outside, and I'm happy that I've made it through another night.