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Showing posts from 2016

Another night at Court Square Tavern, still

I sat for two and a half hours tonight doing research for my regular job before the first customer came in. He was a visiting medical student who proudly told me he's gotten all his paperwork turned in for the all-important match for residencies. This guy wants to be a plastic surgeon and he told me all about how it's not at all about breast augmentation and tummy tucks. He explained how plastic surgery helps people recover from losing limbs and bodies need to sculpted back in place sometimes to make that happen.  Of course, he didn't say that right away. When he came in, I was so focused on my research that when he answered if we had any good food, I told him we had food, but it was up to him if it was any good or not. Then I quickly apologized, explaining I'm a reporter who is neutral and when I'm thinking that way I can't really be a salesman. Then I told him the bratwurst is very good. Soon after, a friend of mine who works for one of the local governm

A piece of history

While I was at the Board of Supervisors all day, I used my secondary thought processor to look up all kinds of specifications about the hardware of the Atari class of home computers. I listened to the business of the day while researching the history of the first personal computer I ever had. In Christmas of 1982, my dad  Joe Tubbs  got our family an Atari 800. At the time, this was absolutely epic. We set up the computer on our dining room table. Tonight I found one of the first games we ever played. The Sands of Egypt was a graphics-enhanced text adventure that we never solved despite hours and hours of play time. It's kind of a legend in my family. And now, here it is courtesy of the Internet Archive almost 34 years after we first played it. So much has changed in that time.  You can play it here . 

The Grind

Every day is near the same. My dreams keep me in slumber as I visit cities I'll never get to visit in real life because they might not even exist. I'm assigned to accomplish tasks that can never be solved, but I cannot wake quickly because I am driven to do the impossible. Then the liquid of reality pours in and I float up to consciousness. I move quickly to my computer to begin to do the impossible. Stories must be written. Complexities must be simplified. Corrections must be made. Direction must be given. First, though, I need caffeine ameliorated by the tannins in my cheap black tea with a spot of milk. I like to sit in my front room going through the first set of information about the world. First question: How badly did I screw up the night before? Did I get something wrong in a story? Did I make anyone angry? Did anyone react to what I wrote the day before, or what my colleagues wrote the day before? I seem to need to do this at home rather than at my office. Eventu

The keys

Somewhere in this house Squirtle stands guard over my keys. I'm not sure where they are, but I know they are here, and the protector I put in place of them is waiting for me to find him.  I do try to keep my house in order, just like I try to keep my communications in order, but sometimes there's a whirlwind and I'm left wondering where things are. This is one of those times.  I lost my last set of car keys last May upon coming back from a catering gig outside Waynesboro. A big tulip concern threw a party to announce their big hothouse and I drove back late and stopped at a gas station in town and somehow they got misplaced. I searched for two hours in the parking lot before the manager told me I'd need to move my car by morning. I had it towed and getting a new set of keys wiped out the money I'd made that night. Such is life. Things come, things go. Everything around us is always in motion. Everything inside of us is always in motion. When I got

Year 43

My left ear pulses with pain from a bee sting that happened while I was mowing the lawn tonight while my kids were in the backyard enchanted with fact that nature has totally overgrown the bottom terrace. The top terrace is rough around the edges, but no one will be swallowed whole.  Both of my ankles throb due to at least two other bee stings. I apparently angered a hive today in trying to get the public portion of my yard under control. Earlier this summer I paid a friend of mine $50 for a lawnmower because he moved to Los Angeles with his wife.  In the past seven days I have now suffered a sunburn from the beach, a summer cold I suspect was caught in the hotel breakfast buffet line and now these sharp aches from earlier this evening. This is year 43. This is now the time when I can expect that aches and pains are going to be more part of my life as I'm well past the days where I can claim to be young. In my mind, I'm still in my early 20's but now my body i

Almost at 30

Tomorrow I'm hoping to run a mile for the 30th day in a row, ending a quest to become more aware of my body's health and my mind's inability at times to clear time for fitness.  I have my children tomorrow, so the completion of this journey depends on finding someone to look after them for 15 minutes. I don't plan to run more than a mile because my legs are getting quite tired and they need to rest in order to replenish.  I'm going to miss this challenge and I am hopeful I can find another one to replace it. I have written out my running schedule for the week and I plan to stick to it. I cannot afford to lose momentum. I am going to have a shorter life if I do not get back to placing my fitness and health as a maximum priority.  I don't really feel much of a sense of accomplishment at the moment because I'm not sure I'm going to be able to finish. I don't like to spend any time away from my children on the weekends I have them. I'd

Springtime at Court Square Tavern

The air rumbles with vibrations from a cooler keeping condiments and cold-cuts at the right temperature for doing business. We're not doing any, of course, but that's to be expected. I'm not sad sitting here even though I knew no one would come in. I would not be here if I didn't have to be. I could walk over to the park and enjoy the festival but I stay here hopeful that perhaps someone will come in, knowing though that no one would want to be here at this time. And I have four and a half hours left. I've chosen to do this over catering this year though I don't think I will be able to continue that in the future. The vibrating air is pulsing its way into my brain in a way that may not be useful or helpful. I'm not a despondent correspondent at the moment at all because I am happy to be here. I know that tomorrow will be a day off and I have no plans. I'm not sure what I will do, but I will try to be productive. I hope to run at lea

Citizen

I created this blog over ten years ago when I was in a different part of my life. I made up the name for the blog out of my sense that I'm just one person out of billions on this planet of ours. I've lowered the number periodically as I've aged.  But now I'm a citizen of this country who writes a lot about how the government actually works. I'm able to explain obscure things like how state legislation affects locality's ability to regulate their own land use. I'm capable of turning the impenetrable into narrative.  Who am I? Do I even know?  I just picked a scab by accident. I itched. I went there.  Blood smells metallic because of the iron that courses through our veins. Each human on this planet is its own micro-biome filled with entire cultures of mites and so many other creatures. I just sniffed the wound and it smells like coins. Thoughts of Lincoln, Roosevelt, Jefferson and Washington come to mind.  I wonder much about who we are,

The now, won't he?

I'm well past my sell-by date and I'll sit on the shelves for a while. I'm locked into the greater ecosystem and I'm at the sense where my youthful lubrication to get somewhere else may have dried up. I'm twice-divorced, work two jobs, and leveraged to a point where there is no ability to take risk.  Yet I write those words with aplomb.  I'm alive in a world that seems more and more absurd every day. I feel like I'm awake in a historical period where so much is at stake, and I'm an active observer, carving out a corner or two of narrative where I can. I'm one of over 7 billion people on this planet and a believer that any of us can be what we want to be. I still have hope despite experience.  The point it, I didn't turn bitter. I wanted to, and every day there's a gravity wave that beckons me to give in. But I don't. And I won't.  The now is the now and I'm no longer going to worry if people understand me.  I'

From Minecraft to microfiche

For much of the last year, I've spent my free time playing Minecraft. I bought the game for my kids but found myself completely lost in the world. I've spent countless hours playing the game,  learning how to survive and build structures and explore a virtual world.  But now, I've grown bored with it. Which means I have free time left over. That's meant I've been going to the Jefferson Madison Regional Library 's reference section in the central branch to go back in time to update cvillepedia.  It's a good trade of time, I'd say. I'm still spending as much in front of a computer but the virtual world I'm helping to recreate tells the story of Charlottesville and Albemarle County through historic articles from the Daily Progress .  My main mission this year is to help understand the events of 1960 better. That's the year of the first major annexation of county lands by the city.  There was also an election and a referendum on p

Five weeks until the Ten-Miler

I've done it again. Completely forgot to start training for the Charlottesville Ten-Miler. I had been hoping I would have done so, but work has gotten in the way.  At least, that's the story I'm going to tell myself. The reality might be different, and the future certainly needs to be. I got an email this morning telling me that the race is 85 percent full and I should purchase my space now.  I'm beginning to wonder if I should do it. Realistically I'm not going to suddenly flip a switch and become the person who takes time to run again. At some point I lost interest.  But now it's five weeks away. And I'm going to have to make a decision. 

Before the snow

The chance at a fresh start, a temporary one, is worth grabbing hold.  Soon there will be a new coating on the soiled world that will remind me that there's always the chance of a happy illusion. This temporary geologic event will at first be beautiful, but then it will quickly be get sullied by the need for society to remove all the obstacles.  I've grown jaded. I always think now about what comes after, always imagining the worst because that way the bad that does happen doesn't hurt as badly. This stance also keeps me on my toes, always ready for something else to go wrong. So in this moment when the ground is still greenish-brown, I think about the gray sludge instead of the majesty of inches and inches of freshly fallen snow. There are so few moments now where I can stop and enjoy them happening when they are. It has become so common for others to tell people to live in the moment, to forget the past. For me, that denies that the ocean of my previous

David Bowie

The internet is pulsing with remembrances of David Bowie. I'd like to write one myself but I'm not an expert. I'd like to write one but I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. Something about David Bowie seems overwhelming to me at this moment, like I would do very well to just sit down and listen to everything I can because this is the time to take it all in before he fades away. But he'll never fade away. Not the way he went out. Not by drawing everyone's attention to how he would transcend death by always being present in everything that came afterwards, musically at least. I think about my life and the work that I do I sometimes question if it's what I am supposed to be doing. When I was younger, I wanted to have a more creative life but it turns out I'm very guarded when it comes to putting out anything creative. I seem to use my own creativity as a way to prove my existence to myself.  Bowie always played to an aud

Important words

A guy in a suit is going on about the rules and regulations. I've heard it all before. How many people can be in the room. Who can bring what business forward. I'm just waiting for it to be over so I can get on with my evening. I keep hitting refresh on my email, hoping there will be something new, interesting, unpredictable. Something spontaneous and true.  It doesn't come.  The windows are drawn in this conference room and I can't even see out to the world that I'm missing. I've seen it all so many times, though, cars whizzing through the same intersections that I'll pass through later on this evening, if I'm lucky, if this meeting ends. How many times have I been in this room now? So many. And I wonder if I really need to be here now, but I can't make myself get up to move.  This is not one of those times that seems important but it's a time in which I'm alive. I want to be away from the computer and want to be exerci

166 months ago

The copper bar is here but there are no customers. I am feet away from the refrigerator that caught fire, ending my first tenure as an employee of this establishment. I'm not quite sure why I'm still here, but I'm still here and I'm glad to have had the chance to earn some money this evening. I had hoped to go to the art galleries, but that sort of thing is for other people now. If I can make money, I must.  The copper bar has been here for so long now, and there have been so many time it has served as the equals sign that carved my life into two sides of an equation. One day I'll be able to show my work. I'm all alone here now. The door is locked and my colleague and I made some money, even though it's been slow for the past three hours or so. The rush was sudden and quick and we served people fast and they gave us money.  Tomorrow I'll be here again. I've been here so often. It's part of the journey from birth to death and I don&#

A week on

This time last week I got to my car in the economy long-range lot at Dulles after a week away in England. I didn't have too much disorientation adjusting to being on the left hand side of the car, and I didn't have too much sadness about being back in the United States. I was looking forward to seeing my children and looking forward to getting back to work.  At this moment I'm sitting in a meeting listening to people say things. I have to take some of those things and turn them into a story at some point in the next four hours. I'm sure I'll be able to get it done, but the first pangs of sadness have hit me that nothing exciting is planned for my life for a long while.  I'll be working a lot the rest of the year. There have been some changes which have eliminated almost all disposable income. I'm having to watch every single dollar. I won't be going out anymore except when I work at Court Square Tavern. I won't be spending money on clothes.

Things I've been meaning to tell you: 2016 edition

I don't think I've ever begun a New Year with more confidence and commitment to work hard to improve myself. I have deliberately chosen the pathway towards positive outcomes. My pathway has had a few more barriers thrown my way, but these only make me stronger. The time to wallow in negativity is over. The only way forward is up.  That's really it. I'm not as interested in writing about myself anymore. I'm considering formally ending this blog and starting up one that's much more about my professional interests and one that will help me document some exciting things I want to try in the coming year.  For now, though, I just wanted to say Happy New Year and that I wish everyone well!